JJ's Birth Story

JJ's birth taught me a lot about how I deal with expectations. His due date was July 13. My mom had all 5 of her kids an average of one week early. For some reason this made me expect I'd have my baby early as well. My Dr started checking my dilation and effacement when I was 37 weeks along. He told me I could have this baby any day!! This ALSO made me expect an early delivery. He made comments like, "once you start having regular contractions I wouldnt wait too long to go to the hospital." I tested positive for strep B and they like to have you on antibiotics no less than 1 hour after your water breaks. With this combination of facts and lack of experience I was paranoid. We didn't go any where for the last month of my pregnancy. We didn't even go up to my sister in laws missionary farewell in Bountiful, UT because I was sure I'd have the baby in the car... in the middle of nowhere. Do pregnancy hormones bring out paranoia or was it just a first child thing?? It's good to be cautious, but I was a bit, what do the kids say these days?... Extra.  

Well July 13th came and went and I still wasn't even 100% sure what a contraction felt like. My Dr was leaving town for the weekend and wanted me to go into labor before he had to leave. So he swept my mebranes on my due date. Everyone had talked about how painful it was and I thought I was real tough because- it honestly wasn't bad. Well...JJ didn't come. My Dr swept again a little more aggressively and then I knew what contractions felt like! Also, I no longer felt tough. 

           pictures of me July 13, 2015

I was overdue. I was large, uncomfortable, hot, not sleeping well, anxious and SO excited to have a baby. The anticipation is crazy. Everyone else was also extremely excited and texting/ calling me constantly asking how are you feeling?? The nice way of really asking, "are you in labor YET?" I guess I wasn't the only one expecting an earlier arrival! I was curb walking, eating pineapple, dancing, and alll the other things they say to do that I'm not going to write about for others to read... Haha, don't worry nothing dangerous. 

Finally on July 15, 2016 I pulled out my contraction tracker app. The contractions came and then faded. We went on an evening walk around cedar city high school and every time I felt that familiar uncomfortable tightening in my stomach I sped up my pace and walked harder willing labor to start already!! We came home and watched a couple of episodes of cupcake wars. I was keeping track of the contractions and they seemed to be coming regularly although they weren't becoming more intense. I sent Jeff to bed and took a bath. When I got out of the bath I was hit with a contraction that knocked the wind right out of me! Jeff had been asleep a total of 5 minutes when I woke him telling him I thought I was actually in labor!  Jeff gave me a blessing because I was kind of back and forth on wanting to go to the hospital since I didn't want to be turned away for not reallly being in labor. After the blessing I felt good about going.  We grabbed our hospital bag that had been carefully packed for weeks (this makes me laugh now, I was super prepared with first child anticipation and no other kids to distract from the task!)

We got all checked in to the hospital around 11:30 PM and I was at a 4.5 with regular contractions. I would be having this baby in the next 24 hours!! I remember Jeff recording me, doing paper work and having waves of pain come. I didn't want to be dealing with other tasks as the contractions kept coming. Luckily, the anesthesiologist didn't take long to come and I got the epidural. My mom made it to the hospital! I had downed a propel that we had packed with tons of other snacks in our hospital bag and I ended up with the shakes and throwing up all that propel.

 About halfway through the night the epidural stopped working on the left half of my body. I was miserable. There was a sign in the hospital room that said please call for the nurses don't wander in the halls or something like that, so I wanted to be obedient! I pressed the call button and 30 minutes passed. My mom said, "Heidi, I can just go out and ask them for help." I was adamant: we must follow the rules. Well come to find out after an hour or so of unnecessary suffering they came in and I had pressed the wrong "call button" haha. So they upped my medicine and checked me and broke my water. They basically told me that JJ would come quick once I was at a 10 and the dr. came. The next part is a bit of a blur. At one point they gave me oxygen and another they gave me pitocin and then around 6 AM I was ready to push and I couldn't feel jack squat. I remember touching my leg and feeling like I was touching a bag of sand. The Dr. came and I started pushing around 7 AM. The epidural and not really being able to feel any thing really slowed me down. After about 30 minutes of pushing Jeff said, "I can see his head!!" I asked for a mirror because I thought it might be motivating but, no. I saw his head too... a teeny tiny part of it! I don't mean to be vulgar but I honestly thought, "How am I ever going to be able to push this child out of that small space?!"  Finally the epidural wore off a bit and I could actually feel what I was doing. I was making progress and as I pushed I grunted, "Come on JJ!! COME ON JJ!" I was exhausted and so ready to meet my baby boy. Dr. Sanders asked if I'd be ok with an episiotomy, I said, "anything to get him here!!" I think in my over zealousness and finally being able to feel a bit of what I was doing I gave a huge giant push right after the cut and I tore pretty bad.... but JJ came!!!!!! 

I couldn't believe it we had a baby boy! Jacob Jeffrey Hertig was born at 8:05 AM July 16th, 2015. He weighed 7 lbs 6 oz and was 19 inches long. I just kept looking at him shielding him from the bright hospital lights and saying over and over, "this is our baby boy!!" I turned to Jeff and said, " He's here!! Can you believe this is OUR baby boy??" That rush of emotion was nothing I ever experienced before. Total and complete love, awe, amazement, joy, and a sudden realization of my great responsibility over this fresh and fragile child straight from heaven. Our Father in Heaven trusted ME with one of His special spirits and I was going to do all I could to give this little boy the best life he could possibly have. 

With that responsibility came a tidal wave feeling of inadequacy. I wasn't prepared. I wasn't prepared for the difficult challenge nursing would be. I wasn't prepared for the lack of sleep and the inability to sleep even when he was sleeping because I had to be sure he was breathing! I remember standing over his little bassinet at the hospital watching his little chest go up and down and thinking who is this boy going to become? What will he be like? Will I be enough for him? How can I love him more than anything already??? My little JJ had the greatest clutch on my heart from the very beginning. I wasn't prepared for how much I would love him! I wasn't prepared to go home. It felt so weird to be leaving the hospital where they checked his vitals and his weight and helped me nurse. How would we be able to take care of him properly without them?! I'd never had a baby before! I don't think anyone can truly be prepared for their first child no matter how many books they read. 

JJ is such a joy. He was a difficult baby and toddler at times but we loved every minute of watching him grow. I love being his mom. I love how he needs and wants me. Even though it is hard in many ways I revel in being his favorite person (most of the time). We have never been the perfect parents for him. As our first child, he has been our crash course, our experiment and our teacher. Now that he is 5 and off to kindergarten I often wonder what things I could've done better for him and I know I will continue to wonder this as he grows and makes his own choices, some that I will inevitably disagree with. So much of who he has already become is amazing to me and I could have never anticipated the journey he's had or who he's become as a 5 year old. He is so fun, determined, strong willed, smart, funny, sweet, hard headed, loving and my little boy. Just the other day he put my face between his hands and said, "Mom, I really love you, you know that?" I often mourn how he is growing out loud to him and he says, "but Mom, I'll always be your baby boy!" and I can say now with all the confidence I posses that I really, really love my baby boy more than words can express and I feel so blessed and lucky that I get to be his mommy.   

JJ turns 2

Dear JJ,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I cannot believe you've been with us for two years. It seems like just yesterday you made me a mommy. I had a deep and immediate love for you. I remember the first few days of your life I didn't sleep much.  I held you constantly and when I did set you down I hovered over you in awe of your perfection. In those moments I often thought to myself  'who will this tiny boy become? What will he like and dislike? What will his challenges and successes be? How can I help him reach his potential? And... I hope he needs me forever!' 

Well with only 2 years of life I know you have a lot more growth ahead of you but let me share a little about 2 year old Jacob Jeffrey.

You are my little adventurer. You LOVE being outside. When we go to the park you merely grace the actual playground. You spend the majority of your time running.  Running through the fields, on and off the pathways and around other children. You do a lot of climbing in the bushes and plants.  You love pushing your own stroller around until you get 'frusterrated' with running into obstacles. 

We always have to set a timer for you so you know when it's time to leave. You're never happy about leaving but on good days you hop in the stroller willingly and ask for a snack. On hard days you run. When I'm able to catch you (you're fast!) you arch your back and scream. I have to physically force you into the stroller and we make quite a scene. I love you anyway. I know it's hard for you too. 

Once we get home you are usually tired and will ask for 'alone time' and 'milk too' so I tuck you into your crib under your blue blanket, bring you milk and then step out to get something done. I wait for my cue:"mamaaaa!"  When I walk in you give me the biggest grins and jump up and down. I'm grateful I get to be one of your favorite people right now. 

Meal times are fun with you! Your favorite foods are Mac n cheese, watermelon, spaghetti ,quesadillas, blue berries, corn on the cob, carrots and ranch (mostly the ranch). After I give you your food you'll often say ''mama sit by you!'' Signaling that you want me to sit down by you. We say prayers (you are starting to say prayers with help) sing songs and do other silly things like make faces out of your food and then pretend you're eating my face. "Ah!!! You got my eye!!" You love laughing and you also enjoy making me laugh. On good days you eat most of your food smile and say,"all done mama!" On hard days you eat next to nothing and push your tray off causing all the food you haven't eaten to make a huge mess on the floor. You then scream and arch your back while I try to wash your hands. I love you any way.  I know it's hard for you too.

You're such a big helper. You love to help me make food, wash dishes, put quarters in the laundry machine, and go grocery shopping. Sometimes your "helping" actually makes these tasks harder for me, but also more enjoyable. I hope you will continue to want to help as you grow! 

You LOVE anything with wheels that you can push. Trucks, tractors, cars, bikes, strollers, trains and even wheel chairs (sorry to the random lady at the aquarium who helped us discover that!) You have a particular love for fire trucks, garbage trucks and Lightening Maqueen. You can hear the "beep beep" of a garbage truck from miles away. You can watch  vehicles at work for hours at a time. You are mesmerized by the workings of a construction site. You can independently play with trains and cars for a long time! You push them around the furniture and park them in a systematic way. Your sound effects are pretty impressive as well! 

You have recently become a big brother and, oh my goodness, you love your baby sister. You are constantly asking to hold her and you gently will touch her toes and say (in a high pitched voice), "so tiny!" Or push on her little nose and say, "beep!" You'll snuggle up next to us when she's eating and without any prompting kiss her head. Once we were in the car and Lily was very upset. You kept reminding her to "take a deep breath" and "calm down!" When you want her up you'll yell, "wake up Lily Bear!" Haha. You're such a good big bro! 

We use our phone timers a lot. You are always asking to "run around the tree, 5 minutes" , "watch JJ 2 minutes" or "play for 2 minutes" whenever we give you 2 choices you don't like you just make up a 3rd which is always play. 

You are a toddler through and through. I'm quite familiar with the saying "terrible twos" but recently read an article that resonated with me. It asked the question: why are we calling our children terrible? Instead let's call these years the "testing boundaries phase". Yes. That sounds like you my 2yr old JJ! I give you boundaries because I want to keep you safe and I want you to learn. Often you get frustrated and throw tantrums when you don't get what you want. I have to enforce rules and consequences. You have a heart of gold and love me any way. I think you know it's hard for me too. 😉❤️

Happy birthday to my sweetheart and best little buddy. 

Catching up

Wow. I don't know how mommy bloggers do it. Here I am 1.5 years out from creating this blog and I only have, what? 5 posts to prove for it? Haha. Well naturally now that I have a newborn and a toddler and my life is crazier than ever- one of my goals is to be better at updating this blog. Wish me luck.

One of the reasons I've fallen so far behind is because I have wanted to 'catch up' on all the big events In our lives I haven't written about. I wanted it to be nicely chronological. I'm realizing now it will be easier to update as things happen instead of playing catch up. So here we go. I'm going to post more this year than last (which will be pretty easy considering my track record!). 

A picture of me and my kiddos in our natural habitat. Complete with a blown out diaper on my new born and my toddler with his eyes glued to the tv. 🙈. We will make it through these first few months of her life, right?! 

Our Family Picture

It was Easter Sunday. We were dressed to the nines. I was in a fun new dress, JJ in a cute little vest and Jeff was looking as handsome as ever (despite his desperate need for a haircut). 9 o’clock church kept us from snapping any pictures before we had to rush out the door.  I told myself not to forget we needed to take pictures when we got home. We had to document our fanciness on JJ’s first Easter!

At church, my primary kids were hopped up on jelly beans, peeps and chocolate bunnies. They were extra rowdy with sugar and excitement fueling their little bodies. While it was pretty crazy, I was surprised at their knowledge of the Easter story. These 5 and 6 year olds knew the real reason we celebrate Easter. They knew it wasn’t because of a bunny, or baskets, or colored eggs- it is because of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. They not only knew how to say "resurrected' but they knew what it meant! I even had a little girl exclaim, “I can't wait to die! I can see my grandma and we will both come alive again because of Jesus!” By the end of the lesson my heart was full.

After our church block I found JJ in Jeff’s arms: squirmy, grumpy and fully equipped with a soggy diaper. When we got home my first item of business changed from family picture to seeing to that diaper. JJ thought it would be funny to pee all over my new dress (hand wash only), and his church clothes while I was changing him. Now we both needed to change. Wait, what about that family picture? I looked over at Jeff and as usual he was out of his church clothes and into his Sunday “comfs” before I could even say, “say cheese.” I pulled an Elsa and let it go. Maybe we could get a picture the next Sunday.

With JJ down for his nap I started browsing social media. Everyone was posting gorgeous family photos and…. Gasp. Easter baskets. I didn't do an Easter basket for my baby’s first Easter! I hadn’t even thought about it. I felt like a failure.

When JJ woke up we heard happy squeals outside. We peeked out the window to see Asher, our little 3 year old neighbor, searching for hidden eggs. We went out to the courtyard to watch and enjoy a bit of his excitement. He joyfully accepted our attention and gave JJ one of the eggs he had found. My heart melted! At least my little guy got one Easter egg.

Jeff and I started talking to Josh and Abby (Asher’s parents) about how we hadn’t done anything for JJ’s first Easter. They laughed saying whatever they had done for Asher when he was that young had already been forgotten. We talked about social media and the pressure it sometimes places on us to measure up to what other people are doing. How we essentially end up comparing our day to day lives with other’s highlight reels. How sometimes, if we step back, we realize we are doing these elaborate things for ourselves and to be seen by others, instead of doing them for our children.

Abby, who is a photographer, had her nice camera out documenting the Easter egg hunt. She asked if we’d like a picture of our family. I looked at us. We were all changed into our Sunday comfs and our hair was ruffled by Sunday naps. I said, “sure... we aren’t very dressed up.” and Abby laughed, “That's ok we were just talking about how to be more authentic!”

As I laid in bed that night I reflected on what I had discussed with my primary kids and how it applied to me.  Easter isn't about getting the best picture of my family posted on the Internet or giving my child the cutest Easter basket. It is about my Savior. He is risen! Because of Him when I die it isn’t the end. I can live with this sweet little family of mine forever.

So here is the picture we captured of our family on Easter Sunday 2016. It may not be what I envisioned originally but I think I like it better. It comes with memories and lessons I never want to forget.

Surprise! JJ is on his way!

I have always wanted to be a mom. While many women desire to be successful working moms I can honestly say 'stay at home mom' has been my numero uno most wanted job since I was a little girl. Maybe it stemmed from my older sister Annie always stealing the mom role when we played house. Or maybe, and most likely, it was because I always loved having my mom around and wanted to be just like her when I grew up. 

One of the best pieces of advice I got when I was engaged to Jeffrey was: Don't wait until you're ready to have kids. You will never feel ready. TRUTH! I kept thinking 'when we are ready have kids' translated to 'in 100 years' haha. Well it came a lot sooner than I expected. Summer of 2014 Jeffrey and I had some neat experiences that helped us realize it was time to start our family. Although I did not feel ready physically, emotionally or mentally I moved forward in faith knowing that this is what we needed to do. 

There is nothing quite like seeing the double lines on a pregnancy test! WHAT?!?! I have a child growing inside of me!!!!!! What a rush of emotions. I immediately felt responsible for the little life within. I wanted to be 100% excited. Yet I was worried: what if the test was wrong, what if it was too early, what if it was a chemical pregnancy, what if I miscarry in a couple of days, what if I am not ready to be a mom? I already felt so much love and concern for my child and wanted the best for them. I mourn with all mothers who suffer miscarriages because as soon as you take that positive pregnancy test you feel a deep connection and great concern for the welfare of your child. I truly believe those little lives starts from the very beginning. I also believe that anyone who has ever lost a child will have a chance to raise them in life after death. These little people have a great impact on our lives from the very start of theirs.

  Jeff recorded this video right after we took the test and you can see the mixture of excitement and worry in my eyes. Please excuse the baby talk, I think I was retreating into a small and innocent place trying to cope with how much my life was changing right before my eyes..... and inside my belly.

I went in for an early ultrasound as I had some curious symptoms. I felt such a wave of relief to see my baby's heart beat. I was pregnant and all was well.

Next step was sharing the news with our families. I LOVE SURPRISES.

I used to call and tell my mom I was just leaving Cedar City whilst on her front porch... hehe.... I did that more than once and it got her several times (or maybe she was just humoring me). 

Jeffrey went along with my insane plans to catch everyone off guard on Christmas with their gifts! We did so with lengthy tales such as "we are giving you all pieces to the same game so you have to open them at the same time"  and " we are recording this to send to Jake on his mission..." haha watch and enjoy the various surprises! Our little dude was spreading so much joy before he was even born!

Powell Family Surprises

If you want a little laugh notice how many times Jeff tries to get my dad to show him the shirt. Haha.

My missionary brother! We didn't tell him until May 2015  a mere 2 months before JJ was due! I
tried to let everyone have their moment with him... but I was just too excited! This was by far the hardest secret I've ever kept. But so worth the surprise!

Hertig Family Surprises

Christmas morning opening presents... you can tell it doesn't really sink in for a second, haha

 My sister in law Heidi was still in highschool when this was filmed.... so that is why Arin has to clarify not SISTER HEIDI haha. 

Our Love Story

So now that you've heard the real story behind "when we first met" you'll understand why we usually say we met while serving on Southern Utah University's Student Association (SUUSA = student government). Let me give you the deets about how this all went down.

I was Elected as Vice President of Activities March of 2012. You can read about my decision to run here: Shortly after Jeff was appointed as the controller.

warning: this may get a little cheesy....  

Here is our love story timeline:

May 2012 ULA Logan UT

I had been told that Jeff was the type of guy to have girls throw themselves at him, so I needed to keep it cool. I didn't reveal my crush and I wasn't overly flirtatious... but I did keep myself available and friendly just in case.

August 2012 SUUSA Retreat SUU Mountain Center

Jeff approached me during an evening of our mountain center retreat and asked me if I had seen the amazing stars that night. I did a mental girlish squeal and thought.... WHaaat?  but I kept my cool: "No, wanna show me?" Cue eyelash flutter ( LOL JK).  My heart was racing as we went outside. I probably said a little prayer that I wouldn't be awkward. haha. We just talked, and it was wonderful. He was really good at getting me to open up and share, it was SO EASY for me to talk to him! My prayers were answered and I didn't act like an awkward fan girl. After a good chat we made some jokes and did yoga on picnic tables. As I went to bed that night I had an insane amount of butterflies thinking Jeff initiated that one on one time... HOW LUCKY AM I?!

As you can see- still keeping my cool (and Jeff is surrounded by girls)

September 2012

Lets just say the conversation under the stars in August opened the door to many more one on one conversations in the SUUSA offices and beyond. Jeff and I were spending every spare moment joking and flirting and I was having SO MUCH FUN with my new best friend. We went on a couple casual dates early September and I felt the possibility of being serious was just around the corner for us. September 19, 2012 we found ourselves once again under the stars. The following may sound made up but it was REAL LIFE: A shooting star passed over our heads and I made a wish. It went something like this: " I wish that Jeff would ask me to be his girlfriend.... and maybe just maybe someday his wife?!?"  That very night Jeffrey asked me to be his girlfriend. It was magical. It was not an awkward DTR. It just happened so naturally.

One random night we were both in the offices we went to wash our  hands and ended up like this. 

We became true T-birds Homecoming 2012

Jeff was also on Institute Council at this time. Life was crazy busy but we always found time to spend together. 

October 2012

I left with SUU dance department to China for 2 weeks. We skyped/ emailed daily and I missed him like crazy. When I got home from China he had roses and chocolate for me. CHOCOLATE. This guy really knew the way to my heart.

Dance friends from China!

Student Center Night Manager and SUUSA VP of Activities the night of The Scream.  We weren't in costume but we did manage to snag a picture.

November 2012 - February 2013

Life was insanely busy for both of us. Between work, student government, dance rehearsals, early morning institute council.... oh and school.... we somehow managed to fall in love.

*Cue Audience: "Aweeee..."*

I warned you. THE Cheddarist of Cheesy.

Bringing Jeff cupcakes while he was at work. Making every moment count.

Ice Skating for FHE at Bishop Staheli's rink

Jeff Supporting me at Faculty Dance concert Feb 2013

March 2013

To add to our insanely busy courtship Jeffrey decided to run for Student Body President. He included me in that decision and I knew things were getting serious. We went ring shopping and we even talked about getting married before my brother left on his mission in early June. This was quite a stressful time for both of us to say the least. I felt weird planning a wedding before we were engaged.... and Jeff was having to spend insane amounts of his time on his *last minute* campaign. There were moments that I felt 2nd place to the campaign and became the complaining girlfriend. Luckily my sister was able to kindly help me recognize I was being selfish. I was able to suck it up and support Jeff because I knew he would be the best for the position. After an even more stressful campaign than mine, Jeff won!!

Engagement March 2013 

We had picked out a ring. All Jeff had left was to pick it up and ask my dad. The downside was he had to make a trip to St. George to do so. I took a weekend trip with Jessica Lim to see Imagine Dragons in Salt Lake knowing I had to get back in time to make the trip to St. George with Jeff. Turned out my little friend had plans I was unaware of and we got back later than we'd planned. Jeff  told me he was so sorry but it was too late and he had too much school work to catch up on. I was an emotional wreck thinking "This puts everything off one more week. UGH. We have to get engaged so I can start planning this May wedding!!" I look back at this and realize I was being a little dramatic.... First world problems.

The next weekend we planned to go to St. George Saturday. Friday night Jeff took me on a date. He was taking me to all these special places: where we first met, the SUU mountain center where our relationship blossomed, up to the "C" where we had our first date Etc. I thought: "this is cute... its almost like a proposal date! Too bad he doesn't have the ring and he hasn't asked my dad."

He pulled off the side of the road on our way back down Cedar Canyon it was a scenic area with a pretty river. He said, " Let's make a new memory." We got out, hiked a little and talked for a while it felt relaxed and spontaneous to me. He told me that he wrote me a song.... To the tune of "Good Morning Beautiful"   he sang this song with custom lyrics to me.

 (When I find the lyrics I will share them... I really hope Jeff has them saved somewhere.)

This was the point I knew the date hadn't been as spur of the moment as I'd thought. This song was too put together. I started laughing and squealing as he got down on one knee and reached underneath a rock where he had designed for someone to hide the ring. He sang something about eternity and then sang "Heidi will you marry me?" I was screaming/ laughing/ crying SOOOO HAPPY! Of course I said yes but not until after I said "how did you get that? When did you talk to my dad!"

Turns out he was pretty sneaky. 

Out of the bushes popped my sister, my dear friends Jessica and Eva and across the mountain Jeff's good friend Jordan. They had been filming and taking pictures of the WHOLE evening. Jeff had orchestrated every moment of the date soooo well that it had felt spontaneous to me. I was so happy! We were getting married!!! (In two months.... EEK!!!)

May 31st 2013 Our Wedding Day 

One of the best days of my life. I woke up at 5:30 AM like a little kid on Christmas morning with super warm feet (opposite of cold feet if you didn't catch that). Jeff and I were married in the Bountiful Utah Temple. I remember feeling worried and stressed as I arrived a bit late and Jeffrey was still no where to be seen (being on time is important to me.) But as he walked in those doors all the stress and worry went away. I was looking at my soon to be HUSBAND, it felt unreal.

Our sealing was the best part of the day hands down. It was wonderful to be in a room filled with all our family, close friends and of course each other. I was overwhelmed with love and gratitude as I looked around at all the faces that had such a great impact on my life. I am so grateful for temples and for the sealing power our Father in Heaven has provided for us here on earth. I knew as I held Jeffrey and we looked in those mirrors facing each other that we had been sealed for eternity.

The whole day is a blur and went by soooo fast. I am grateful we have pictures that captured many of the happy moments.

May 31, 2013 Our little family was established. This isn't the end, its just the beginning. But I'm confident I can say it will be happily ever after.